3 Things Being A Mum Taught Me
When I gave birth to my son in 2022, I wasn’t sure how I would cope with it all: work, parenting, building my business, remaining sane, all of it. I knew becoming a mother would change my perspective but there are three key ways I feel it has shifted my work.
I’ve slowed down.
Before having my son, even through part of my pregnancy, I was racing about the place, often slightly late, and was often splitting my focus between where I was and what I was planning next. I would plan logistics weeks in advance and I would make plans down to each hour of the day. I’ve always been like this. This behavior leant itself to rushed decisions and burnouts. I was almost never spontaneous and I hated when plans changed. These days, with an almost one year old, I move slower. I think slower. I am more considered in my decisions on how I want to work and I am more present in the work. I think it’s a combination of sleep deprivation and the unpredictable mood changes of an infant but I make looser plans and I’m more open to changing them. I don’t think I will ever be laid back, but sometimes I will do things spontaneously just for fun. “Making the most of my time” means something different.
I understand a different side of my clients.
You do not have to be a parent to add something valuable to the discussion around parenting. However, becoming a parent has opened up a new way for me to connect and understand many of my clients. For the clients who have children, some even have grandchildren, I have a viewpoint on what they experienced becoming a parent and living in their body after they did so. For those who tried to be parents or chose not to be parents, I have a more detailed view on why. I guess you could say all this just by living longer whether you have kids or not, but any big life altering change deepens your experience and gives one more opportunity to connect with others. Sometimes I even get useful parenting tips from my clients!
I work less overtime.
Not only am I more efficient with my work, but I don’t “diddle daddle” around after I finish client sessions, reconsidering and reconsidering little decisions. My ability to microfixate comes from years of living as a perfectionist (something I eventually healed from through therapy). I will always have the tendency to get caught up in the details, but since I became a Mum my work choices are clearer and less complex. Sure, I'll spend an hour lying awake at 1am in the morning dithering over the hoodie I packed for my son and whether the knitted jumper would be more suitable for the weather tomorrow, but at least at work I commit to the choice more confidently. I think that added confidence does come from surviving a challenging pregnancy and then safely delivering your child.
Thankfully, many of the skills I have picked up in my professional career (multitasking, long hours, hard work, creative problem solving, being calm) have become useful in my motherhood journey. I didn’t become a mother to further my skill set and better my career, but these changes in me have improved how I am in many different aspects of my life including my work. In time, I know parenting my son will continue to change me and teach me all sorts of things. Bring it on.
